‘Frustrated With the Pain’: The Untold Challenges of Breast Pumping
As featured in Healthnews. Healthnews asked me about the untold challenges of breast pumping from a perinatal mental health perspective.
Pumping is physically and emotionally demanding, and many parents feel guilt, isolation, or pressure around it. Choosing the right equipment, building in support, and recognizing when pumping is costing more than it gives are all part of protecting your mental health.
“A mom who loses a part of herself because of the pressure she feels to pump is a mom who isn't as present.”Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, PMH-C, to Healthnews
Why pumping brings up guilt
Breastfeeding is often treated as the only healthy option, so parents who pump or do not breastfeed can feel judged or ashamed. Many see pumping as second-best, especially when breastfeeding does not work because of latching problems, pain, or a return to work. That can lead to self-blame and the feeling of not being a good enough mother.
What to expect
From a therapist who sees pumping-related struggles often, new parents should know it is time-consuming, can be uncomfortable, and involves a learning curve. Milk supply can feel unpredictable in the first weeks, which adds anxiety about how much to pump. Pumping right after nursing to build supply can be exhausting, and having a lot of support is essential to make it work.
Practical choices that protect your well-being
- Choose equipment that fits your life. A portable pump can be a major benefit for someone who plans to pump often, since being tied to an outlet is limiting when you are managing other tasks.
- Get fitted properly. Flange size and pump type affect comfort, and a lactation consultant can help.
- Talk with your partner. Tension can arise when a partner sees pumping as unnecessary or inconvenient, and open communication eases that.
- Decide in advance what would tell you it is time to change course.
Knowing when to step back
It matters to recognize when pumping is hurting your well-being. A parent who feels they are losing themselves to the schedule or the pressure is less present for their baby and for themselves. Choosing to scale back or stop is a legitimate decision, and support for the decision matters as much as support for pumping.
Read the full article on Healthnews
Related reading
- There's No One Right Way: The Secrets New Moms Deserve to Hear
- What Does It Mean to Get Your Pink Back?
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to feel guilty about pumping or not breastfeeding?
Yes. Social pressure to breastfeed leaves many parents feeling guilt and self-blame, whatever they choose. Those feelings are common and worth talking about with a perinatal therapist.
How do I know if pumping is hurting my mental health?
Warning signs include dread before each session, feeling you are losing yourself, constant anxiety about output, or resentment toward your baby or partner. Those are good reasons to get support or reconsider the plan.
Ready for support?
If you are struggling after having a baby, I provide perinatal and postpartum therapy.
