Expert Insights on Gender Disappointment – Featured in Scary Mommy
When you learn your baby’s sex, it can stir more than joy—sometimes a pang of disappointment. In a recent Scary Mommy piece, I was invited to explain why gender disappointment is totally normal and when it might become something more concerning.
Key Takeaways from the Article
Gender disappointment is common. The NIH defines it as “subjective feelings of sadness” when your baby’s sex isn’t what you hoped. It doesn’t make you a bad parent—just human.
Feelings don’t equal lack of love. As I shared: “It doesn’t mean you’ll love your child any less.” A momentary tug of sadness is separate from the deep bond you’ll build.
Rooted in personal history. Sometimes it stems from your own childhood bonds or the experience you imagine—for instance, wanting to recreate that mother–daughter connection.
Only becomes a concern if it lingers. If disappointment interferes with bonding or causes lasting sadness, that’s a signal to seek support.
My Expert Perspective
As a perinatal therapist, I encourage expecting parents to:
Acknowledge their feelings without shame.
Talk through disappointment with a partner or trusted friend.
Focus on the whole child you’re about to meet—their unique personality beyond biological sex.
Want more insights on pregnancy and postpartum emotional health? Read more blog posts or book a consultation.
