How to Choose a Sperm Bank: Questions to Ask, Red Flags to Avoid, and What Actually Matters
Choosing a sperm bank isn’t just a logistics decision—it’s a lifelong decision that shapes your family, your child’s health, and their identity. Slick profiles can pull your attention to baby photos and SAT scores, yet long-term wellbeing depends on things most marketing pages bury: comprehensive health screening, thoughtful identity policies, realistic family limits, and ongoing support for donor-conceived kids.
Below is a seven-point checklist to keep your focus where it matters—plus a few red flags you can spot in minutes. All recommendations align with ASRM’s 2024 Guidance on Gamete & Embryo Donation.
Infectious-Disease & Genetic Screening
A reputable bank freezes every semen sample the day it’s collected and locks those vials in quarantine. Six months later, the donor returns for the same infectious-disease bloodwork (HIV, hepatitis B & C, syphilis). Only if those follow-up results are still negative can the bank finally release the original vials. That six-month window protects you from infections that might have been “invisible” at the first test. For extra peace of mind, look for banks that also screen for CMV and HTLV and run a 200-plus-condition carrier panel—covering cystic fibrosis, SMA, Fragile X, hemoglobin disorders, and more—before any vials reach patients.
Also confirm the bank has reviewed the donor’s three-generation family history for red flags—early cancers, serious heart disease, or major psychiatric conditions like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia—using medical records or physician attestations, not just self-report.
Ask the bank:
List every infectious test and the lab used.
How long is quarantine and is the donor re-tested?
Which carrier screen do you use, and do you retest past donors when panels update?
Will you match my carrier results before shipping vials?
Have you verified—through records, not just self-report—that the donor’s family history is free of early cancers, cardiac disease under age 50, or severe psychiatric illness?
Psychological Evaluation
Donation isn’t just medical; it’s relational. A licensed mental-health professional trained in third-party reproduction should vet each donor’s motivation, mental-health history, and readiness for future contact. ASRM also recommends donors be 21–40 years old (up to 50 only with focused counseling on age-related genetic risks).
Ask:
Was the donor evaluated by a mental-health professional trained in third-party reproduction?
Did the screening include both a clinical interview and a validated test (PAI or MMPI)?
When was the evaluation completed, and how often is mental health re-checked?
Tip: Banks that skip psych evaluations often skip other safeguards, too.
Identity-Release Options
Genetic genealogy has blown anonymity apart—23andMe, Ancestry, and GEDmatch make it easy for donor-conceived adults to find biological relatives in hours, not decades. Yet banks still advertise a confusing mix of “anonymous,” “open,” and “ID-release” programs. Here’s how to decode them and what to confirm before you sign anything.
Quick Guide to Donor Identity Options
| Label you’ll see | What it really means | Typical contact pathway | Practical risk |
|---|---|---|---|
| Anonymous / No-ID | Bank won’t share donor’s name, but DNA sites can reveal it. | None. Parents/offspring must do their own search. | High—late discovery, no medical updates. |
| ID-Release at 18 | Bank stores donor’s name & releases it when offspring turn 18. | Offspring requests → bank emails donor → donor may accept or refuse. | Moderate—info may be stale; updates depend on donor. |
| ID-Release + Medical Updates | Same as above plus bank promises ongoing health updates if donor reports them. | Bank notifies families when donor reports new diagnoses or offspring requests updates. | Lower if bank actively re-contacts donor for updates. |
| Open-Door / Early Contact | Donor agrees to mediated or direct contact before age 18. | Offspring or parents can initiate early connection through bank or registry. | Lower—less secrecy, more flexibility for connection. |
| Known / Directed Donor | You already know the donor (e.g., friend, family, or pre-arranged match). | Agreed upon in advance; often involves legal contracts. | Varies—depends on clarity of expectations and future contact plans. |
How Banks Track Donor Identity & Updates
Central database: Better banks maintain an internal CRM with donor’s ID, updated contact info, and every vial shipment.
Annual check-ins: Top-tier programs email or call donors at least once a year to verify address, new medical diagnoses, and willingness for future contact.
Mandatory update clauses: Contracts can require donors to notify the bank of serious health changes (cancer, genetic disease) within 30 days—enforcement varies.
Recipient alerts: Medical updates should trigger an email or portal notice to all families who used that donor. Weak banks leave it to donors to self-report.
Sibling registry tie-ins: Some banks auto-enroll families in an internal registry or give free Donor Sibling Registry (DSR) access, so half-siblings can share info even if the donor ghosts.
Reality check: A bank that says “We’ll pass along updates if donors tell us” is really saying they don’t track. Choose one that actively re-contacts donors.
Ask:
Which program labels do you use—anonymous, ID-release, open-door? Define each.
For ID-release donors, how do you keep contact info current?
Do you verify at set intervals?
What medical conditions trigger an automatic alert to recipient families, and how is the alert sent?
Is the donor contractually required to report new diagnoses? Any penalties if they don’t?
Can parents request mediated contact before age 18 for serious medical need?
Do you provide or subsidize access to a sibling registry?
What happens if the donor stops responding—will you help the child search later?
How do you handle identity disclosure in states with new laws (e.g., Colorado 2025), which often mandate identity-release for all new donors?
Will the donor share non-identifying info (heritage, talents, photos) earlier to aid child identity development?
Key Takeaways for Parents
Anonymity is a myth. Your child will likely discover their genetic origins; plan for openness now.
Verify tracking practices. An annual donor check-in is the gold standard—anything less is wishful thinking.
Choose the most open path you can live with today. It future-proofs your child’s access to medical and identity information.
Banks that nail identity management usually excel in other safeguards. Poor tracking here often signals weak policies across the board.
Use the questions to pressure-test any bank’s system before you buy vials. Your child’s future self will thank you.
Family Caps & Outcome Tracking
The U.S. has no national law limiting the number of families per donor. Professional guidelines suggest a cap of ~25 families per 800 k population, but enforcement is voluntary. Without a solid tracking system, accidental half-sibling meetings become more likely.
Ask:
What’s your enforced cap and how do you track births?
Are pregnancies and live births mandatory to report?
Do you halt global sales once the cap is hit in one region?
Sibling Registries & Medical Update Pathways
Half-siblings often want to connect and share health information. Banks may run in-house registries or collaborate with the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR). An active registry also allows urgent medical alerts to reach all recipient families quickly.
Ask:
Do you provide an internal registry or DSR access?
How are medical updates from the donor shared with recipient families?
Vial Quality & Procedure Match
Not all vials are prepped for the same use. Make sure you buy the right product—washed for IUI, unwashed for at-home intracervical insemination, ART/ICSI prep for IVF.
Ask:
Total motile sperm count (post-thaw) per vial?
Is the vial washed or unwashed?
Which procedures is it recommended for?
Recipient & Child Support
A good bank cares about long-term wellbeing—yours and your child’s. Look for counseling referrals, disclosure guides, and adolescent resources.
Ask:
Do you refer to therapists trained in donor conception?
Are there workshops or materials on telling children their story?
What support exists for donor-conceived teens and adults?
Quick-Scan Grid
| Decision Area | Minimum Standard | Better / Preferred | Why It Matters | Ask the Bank… |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Infectious screening | FDA panel | + CMV, HTLV; 6-mo quarantine | Protects pregnancy & baby | Exact tests, re-test? |
| Genetic screening | CF only | 200+ pan-ethnic panel | Avoids recessive disease | Panel size, lab, match |
| Psych evaluation | None / self-report | Licensed therapist specializing in 3PR | Readiness & follow-up | Who, when, tools? |
| Identity access | Anonymous | ID-release + updates | Child’s right to know | Info at 18? Pathway? |
| Family limits | None | ≤ 25 families / 800 k pop | Cuts accidental matches | Cap, tracking? |
| Sibling registry | None | Bank or DSR registry | Health alerts & connection | Enroll cost? |
| Vial type | “Standard” | Washed vs unwashed labelled | Match vial to procedure | Post-thaw MOT? |
Red Flags You Can Spot Fast
No psychological evaluation.
“Anonymous forever” marketing.
Vague answers about family caps or tracking.
Pressure to “buy now” before questions are answered.
No plan for medical updates after sale.
If the conversation feels more like a hard sell than family-building guidance—pause.
Three-Step Action Plan
Short-list two or three banks that meet all seven checkpoints.
Run carrier screening on yourself/partner; cross-match with donor results before purchase.
Plan disclosure early—research shows starting in toddlerhood supports healthier identity development.
Where I Can Help
Recipient-Parent Consult – We vet banks together, map disclosure plans, and prep clinic questions.
Donor Evaluation – Independent mental-health screening for known or directed donors.
Ongoing Family Support – Age-appropriate language, scripts, and counseling for donor-conceived kids.
Prefer to read first? Explore the third-party reproduction blog, review my research library, or learn about sperm-donor psych evals and intended-parent consults.
